It has been just one of those days today. I woke up in utter protest of being in the current state I was in-- awake. I tried to convince myself that the value of being awake was grossly overestimated and that happiness resides in sleep. At that same moment I also remembered that happiness is involved in an empty blatter and a full stomach... and passing biology. So even though I tried to convince myself not to get out of bed-- here I am-- out of bed. Now that I am going about my day I have decided that I do not want to be on the planet anymore, it is nothing in particular the planet itself has done to me... I just would rather be roaming the galaxy! Once I had made the decision that to leave the planet I then stumbled upon the minor slash major problem of how to do it. At this point I turned to Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy because that is where I turn for all of intergalactic questions and I found a simply straight forward guide on how to leave the planet. I thought I would share this little guide with you since some of you may also be having a "I'm not so down with Earth Day" like I am.
How to Leave the Planet
1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House-- (202) 456-1414-- to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA
3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that its vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.
-----------Douglas Adams
Happy Trails...
3 comments:
If you only knew how often i have the, "i'm not so down with earth day" you'd know how much i appreciate this blog! Sail on, into the wild blue yonder!
You can leave the planet and arrive someplace else very easily if you'd like to. This is all you have to do:
Merely throw yourself toward the ground, and attempt to miss.
Lots of love,
Uncle Dick
Oh yes, I was keen to escape the planet in the last couple of days too. Good advice from Hitch Hikers Guide as always.
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